I’m doing it…#CraftSabbatical

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Quitting my job to take a breath was a really difficult decision. To be frank, it’s fucking scary.
The moment I decided for sure I was going to do it, I felt like a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. The moment I wrote my letter of resignation, I felt very emotional, almost nostalgic already. The moment I submitted my letter, I questioned the shit out of myself and did nervous dancing all over my kitchen. The moment I got the response that didn’t fight to keep me, the breath got stuck in my throat and the tears fought to come out. The moment I walked out and everyone stopped me to tell me what I meant to them, I realized what an impact I actually made on people and it warmed my heart.

I am a passionate mother trucker. I spent years questioning a desk job, but the cause of what I was working on was so meaningful. Most may have just seen a job in entertainment, but the show I worked on really changed lives: It made people happier, healthier, financially easier or more accessible.

But with every episode, my mental and physical wellbeing decreased. I started getting physical ailments from sitting 8 to 14 hours a day. I saw less sunshine and didn’t really interact with people. I felt like a flower being deprived sunlight.

The people I worked with were an amazing family. We have bonded through late nights, stressful deadlines, hard work and harder partying. We had each other’s backs yet all felt the same itch for a change. I wasn’t the first to leave and I won’t be the last. But I did what was best for me and that was the hardest part – to put myself first.

LXTV Look Back

Ever since my divorce from my love, I’ve been pushing extra hard to put myself at the top of my list. It’s not an easy task when your happiness is so tied to everyone else’s happiness. But it turns out, the more miserable I felt, the more I made everyone else around me miserable. Who wants to be someone else’s rain cloud?
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So the question I get: what’s next?? What will you do for money? For health care? To occupy your time? To keep your skills sharp? Who will you be?
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I am creative, passionate, opinionated, and strong. I went to 9 doctor appointments this week, I saved a small amount for this moment, I have 10 million hobbies, and I am going to do what everyone sitting at their desk job wishes they had the balls to do. I got this.

So what’s next? Guess you have to keep reading… #craftsabbatical

Please check out the charming card Mark Monroy made me.

Hand drawn and water colored by Mark Monroy

Hand drawn and water colored by Mark Monroy